Long gone to the Yukon

I am currently on vacation and if you choose jump over to www.indigosravens.com. 

Closest I have been in a year

Right now I am on a plane flying over Saskatchewan and all I can think is that this is the closest I have been to my métis family in a year. So close but yet do very very far. 

Welcome Gabriela

My beautiful niece Gabriela was born on June 14th. We went up to Amherst today to see her before I leave for my epic trip on Tuesday. She is amazing and I can't wait to spend more time with her. 

For tawny and Jody.

My footwear for the evening. Even painted my toes. Aren't you both proud of me? 

My love

Rob graduated from fire fighter training tonight. I am so proud of who he is and how much community means to him. He is now an official volunteer fire fighter. 

I actually did it

My very first tattoo. It is to celebrate the life changing trip I am about to take with my fellow ravens to the Yukon. The purple one is actually the color indigo in memory of the very beautiful Indigo Sweetwater who left us much too soon and was the inspiration for this trip. 

2 weeks from today.....

I will be on my way to the Yukon for the most amazing adventure ever. I am giddy I am so excited but I have to keep it contained for the next 2 weeks or I will drive everyone foolish. Today in the mail I received this:

The contents look like this:

My amazing friend Jenn who is also going on this trip was thoughtful enough to send me this little goody package as I am traveling the farthest to get there. I can't wait to get there. If you so desire (which means of course you do) you can follow the whole trip as we blog from the road. Check it out at www.indigosravens.com. I think. If that doesn't work google it. You'll find us. :)

Jr high

So we went to colbys jr high tour last night. He will be attending the same jr high that I attended. Which means each day he gets to walk past this 

Momma is always watching. 

Please bring back winter

I must admit I dont do well with the heat. It was 27 degrees here today. Its too hot to think. People think i  crazy for hating the summer. The reason is that you can't dress for it. At least in the winter you can dress for the cold. How many months until fall?

Laundry soap and fabric softener.

I am back to making my own laundry soap and have now stepped it up one more by making my own fabric softner also. I stopped for a while as it was very cheap to coupon for laundry soap. The problem became storage. The secret to great savings with coupons is to buy small bottles and boxes. The smaller the box the cheaper the price and the cheesy value when you combine that with a coupon. The problem is that we just don't have the storage space for 50 bottles of laundry soap.  So I am back to homemade stuff. This way I can control the smell and I know what's in it. 

Here is what we made tonight. It has to sit overnight to set up and then tomorrow I will put it in mason jars for storage. The best part? I actually did the math and that entire pot cost me 1.46 to make. That I figure should do me almost a month and I wash everyday. Fabric softner is even cheaper. :)

The most important people in my life

I am such a lucky girl to have all 3 of these fantastic people love me.  

Goodbye Facebook

I have decided that I am tired of the foolishness of Facebook and have decided to stop using it as a way of keeping in touch with people.  There is a status on my Facebook that says if you want to keep in touch with me this is the best way to do so.   I promise to update this more and there will be lots and lots of pictures.

Happy 7th birthday baby boy

My baby boy turned 7 yesterday.  Good lord someone please tell me where the time goes?

We had a small party here at the house for him.  We invited a few of his friends and a lot of family and just had a day for him.  They spent the time playing WII and just being boys.

Here is Joe blowing out his candles.  We were not going to let a little thing like geography keep his best friend of 4 years away.  That`s Brian you see on the phone, watching the whole thing.  He even sang Happy Birthday with us.  God I miss that kid.

From there we went outside to break the Pinata.  Everyone took a turn at it and then we left it up to
Colby to bust it open.  Candy went flying everywhere.  It was fantastic.

From there we went to opening presents.  This is one of my favorite pictures.  This is Joe's friend Jack.  Jack's mom and I went to school together from Kindergarten right through high school.  Jack had told Joe in school what he bought for him for his birthday.  These two are adorable together.

I want to thank everyone who came out for the party.  Joe had a great time and it was so wonderful to see the house so full of family. 
 

One of my favorite places

It is beautiful here today in Nova Scotia and I decided I needed to take the boys somewhere that I haven't taken them yet since being back.  We went to the Hemlock Ravine Park in Bedford.  It's a great place with many walking trails through the woods.

This is Hemlock Ravine Park.  It has a heart shaped pond at the beginning of it.  The pond is called Julie's Pond.  There is actually a great sign at the beginning of the park explaining the history of it that I really should have taken a picture of.  Long and short of the story is Prince Edward (the guy who went on to name the little potato island) had a mistress here in Nova Scotia.  Guess what her name was? She lived here in a mansion and he loved her so much he had this pond made for her in 1790.

We went walking through the woods and I snapped this shot of Joe.  Damn this kid is getting tall!  I can't keep him in pants that fit.

Oh Colby.  Please stop growing up.  I am not ready for the extremely attractive teenager you are turning into.

Unedited because I couldn't bring myself to edit it but DAMN when did he learn this?  He asked me if he could do this and I really didn't think he would!

I love this picture.  You can tell Colby is faking but it's still funny.

They make my  heart sing.  I love Joe's face in this one.

Nothing better than hugging a tree.  I told them we were taking these pictures for Kassie.

Then I gave the camera to Colby.

Photobombed by Joe!

My life.  They constantly amaze me.  This picture was Colby's idea.

Modivation required please

Since moving back here to Nova Scotia, I have really lost the modivation to update this blog.  I don't spend nearly as much time on the computer as I used to, as now everything online is done through my phone.  So, you ask, what is new with me?  Well, not a whole lot.  Life is moving so quickly here, and I hate it.  It's so fast paced here.  Everything is rush, rush, rush.  I feel like I don't spend as much time as I should with my children, and it makes me heart sick that my job is to spend more time hugging and cuddling other people's children so they can go to work than my own.  Colby really has turned into quite the young man.  He has more responsibility on his shoulders that I would like, but unfortunately because of the big evil Northwest Company / Northern store (yep, still making sure it's mentioned here so that when people google the company they will find this blog and realize what a hateful company they are and they should run screaming), where was I, oh yeah, Colby who has more responsibility than he should but takes it with stride.  I have become quite the extreme couponer, and have moved up from a small book in my purse to that woman you see with the binder in the grocery store with the stack of coupons at the till.  I will be going to the Yukon in less than 15 weeks, and I really can't wait.  You can see the entire story HERE .  If you haven't checked it out, you really should. :)

Happy birthday Dad

Today my dad would have turned 60. 10 years ago when he turned 50 he woke up to plastic penguins all over his yard with a big sign that said "Happy 50th birthday Poppy". We would have done something equally as embarrasing, probably bras and underwear around the yard. He would have loved it. Instead, we all had a moment today where we thought about Dad. I had my traditional fish and chips supper, and I know my sister did also. Mom went out with Aunt Rose and they celebrated Dad's birthday together. It's not a day of sadness, he wouldn't have wanted that. Instead, it was as a birthday should be, a celebration of life. Happy birthday Dad.

 

 

 

 

Good bye 2012

I have been reflecting over the last day or so on exactly what to blog about for this post.  2012 was a big mixed bag of emotions for me.  It started by spending New Years eve with our great friends Pat and Charlene and their kids.  We had supper at our house and then had a quiet New Year's eve at home.  It was just as we had over the last 4 years.  We were planning on our trip to Nova Scotia in the summer, and were excited to drive there (little did WE know).  We enrolled Joe in hockey and he thrived in it.

I planned on getting more connected with my god daughter Adelle and twin neices, and for the most part I did.  We welcomed people into our lives that unfortunately ended up not being the people we thought they were.  At times I think we are just too nice and trusting, which unfortunately in this case was our downfall.  Winter turned into spring, and we had a great time just spending time together.  Spring turned into summer, and we changed our summer vacation plans.  We decided to take a family only trip, and we booked a beautiful cabin in the woods at the base of the Rocky Mountains in Alberta.  The 4 of us talked at length on what we wanted to do when we were there, and planned side trips to see friends. 

And then, well, we all know what happened in July.  We packed up what we could, said goodbye to the only home that Joe knew, and moved back to Nova Scotia.  We were down, but we were together and we certainly were not out.  Rob decided to change careers, a move I totally supported.  Retail just wasn't where we wanted to be and after what had happend with the Northwest Company, we were not doing that again.  I started looking for preschool jobs, but they are very hard to find here.  I had many interviews at daycares.  We decided we would take the summer to enjoy ourselves with the boys, which we did.  We took them to Maine to spend a weekend with Adam and Genevieve, and we were able to make new friends and spend a great deal of time with Adelle and Jamie.  We laughed and tried to find our new normal. 

We were just beginning to feel like we were going to be ok when we got the news that my Uncle Clar was dying.  He had been battling the same lung disease as my dad, but none of us expected he would go as fast as he did.  Again, our world tipped a little sideways and we were a bit lost.  Uncle Clar was an amazing man, he stepped in as my surrogate dad when Rob and I lived in Newfoundland, and was an all around amazing man.  The world was a little dimmer the day he died.

This picture is from when we visited there in July.  Joe was only 2 months old and he was in full blown colic.  I was ready to trade him for a gold fish.  Uncle Clar was the only one who could get him to stop crying by just holding  him.

We were in a state of shock but again, we are a strong unit.  We perseverved.  Nothing else could go wrong, right?  The universe wasn't really that cruel, was it?

Less than a month later we lost Uncle Jim Grant.  Talk about not having a moment to catch our breath.  Jim fought and lost his battle with cancer in less than 4 months.  Jim was my birthday buddy and I plan on doing something that day just for him.  We joked when he was in the hospital that he would have to get better because now that I was back we were going to celebrate together.  We still will.

Along came September and even more changes.  We were settled somewhat into our new life.  Family members on both sides kept saying with all the negative in our lives with losing loved ones they were glad we were back to support.  As were we.  The boys were thriving being around so many family members again.  Joe was quickly adapting from being a "kid from the north" to being "a kid from the park".  They both loved to be outside.  One of the funniest things I can remember is both boys trying to navigate how to go down hills on their bikes.  Saskatchewan kids don't have to deal with hills, there are none. Joe pretty well wore out the back tire on his bike driving down the hill and "power sliding" around the corners.  Only a few scraped knees and wipe outs, but many squeals of joy.  They both settled into school quickly, and for the first time in many years so did Rob.  He went back to school and changed careers.

Now here we are at the end of the year.  Was it all bad?  Hell no.  Like everything else, it was a learning experience for us.  We learned how to adapt and survive as a family unit.  I am very proud of who we are and what we can over come. 

We have all become closer as a family, and are just as crazy as ever.  I love that I have all these crazy people back in my life.

These 4 have been spending a lot of time together.  The girls and Joe are all getting to know each other, and Colby is rekindling the friendship he had with the girls before we left. 

Christmas morning was amazing.  We spent it with all our family.  We had a family breakfast on my side of the family, which was amazing.  And of course what is Christmas without a family picture of us at our finest?

Kassie decided to bring an apron for Rob to wear while cooking breakfast.  Another Christmas tradition in the making maybe?

My brother even got in on the fun.

I had to take this picture. I have the same picture of Colby and BJ from when Colby was 3.

Then we packed up and had Christmas dinner with the other side of the family. We actually forgot to do our traditional crazy picture as we were all tired and cranky.

2013 will be a new year for us in all terms of the word.  What we have learned from this past year will last us a life time.  But honestly, I won't change a thing.  Happy New Year to you and yours.

This is my favorite picture.  This was taken in July just after we got back here.  Even though we had just been through hell and back, we came out together, still smiling.

"Are you happy you're back?"

I must admit, I am really getting tired of this question.  I was asked this question just today when I met up with a family friend.  We have now been back in Nova Scotia for just over 3 months.  I really can't believe how quick the time is flying.  In one month from right now it will be Christmas Eve.  I will not be in Ile a la Crosse with my family there, but for the first time in 5 years I will be with all my family here.  My mother in law has been giddy with excitement about having all 4 of her grandchildren under the same roof on christmas eve, and for the first time in 5 years a web cam will NOT be used to read "T'was the night before Christmas", although I have joked that we should still use the webcam in the same house.  I was told by a good friend of mine in a Facebook comment that I need to let go of my anger about what happened, and that really resonated with me.  In the first 8 weeks we were here, I was miserable inside.  I had to keep a brave face for my kids and my husband, but I was so bitter and broken that it physically hurt.  I stopped eating, I was physically sick every single morning at the thought of facing the day NOT in Saskatchewan.  I felt like someone had died and I didn't know how to deal with it.  That "someone" who died was our life in Saskatchewan.  Within the first few weeks of being back here, we lost 2 great men in our lives very close together.  I watched 2 very strong women and 5 very great cousins say goodbye to the rock that they called their husband and dad, and realized just how foolish and selfish I was being.  I had my health, the health of my children and my husband, and we were still all together.  So I found a way to let go of the anger.  I no longer want to fly to Winnipeg and beat the ever living shit out of people, although there is a large relay that is happening very soon that a large part of those people will be participating in and I would be lying if I said I didn't hope their luggage gets lost, they get traveller's diarrehea and they stumble and fall and break their noses and have to pay foolish amounts of money for medical attention because their insurance was incomplete and.... well ok, so not ALL of the bitterness is gone.  I have been spending large amounts of time with my neices and in laws, and have had some great snuggles and quality time with my nephews.  So yes, NOW I am happy to be back.  I will never be happy about the way it happened, but we're here and we have made the best of it.  Rob is waiting for the final steps to be on the volunteer fire department here in our community, he has a new trade that regardless of what happens in the future NO ONE can take that from him, and I have found a great new "work home" with some amazing women.  And of course, I have been spending more time with my "brother husband" as he is now referred to at work since the day he stopped in "just to say hi".  The rough patch is over, we have climbed this hill and although we may be a little bumped and bruised, we are still together and as strong as ever.  Oh yeah, and did I mention I'm going to the YUKON BABY!!

11 years ago today

we met, and I totally and instantly fell in love.  I have been falling in love more and more every day with this amazing kid.  He has a personality all his own and makes me so proud to be his mom.  Happy Birthday Colby, you really are one of a kind.

Where to begin.....

I have been a bad blogger over the past month.  There has been so much going on in my personal life that I honestly just didn't have the energy or the desire to blog about it.  So here it is in a nutshell:

1.)  On September 4th, we lost a fantastic man in our lives.  Uncle Jim, Rob's uncle by marriage and my uncle by choice, lost his battle with cancer.  We were all in shock and still are.  He was a great man who saw the good in everyone and welcomed me into the family from the very first time we met.  We also shared a birthday him and I, and I will make sure to do something special on my birthday just for him. 

2.) I started and ended a job within a 2 week period.  Initially it was exactly what I thought it would be, but just a few days into it I quickly realized it was NOT a place I could work.  I am not going to go into details, but let's just say my morals wouldn't let me stay in a place where I knew I wouldn't be happy. 

 

3.) Colby and Joey have started a new school that they both seem to enjoy.  Joe is friends with a little boy who's mom is a childhood friend of mine.  It's quite amazing to see how the world comes full circle.

4.) I have been contacted by the town that I used to live in to do some contract work for them.  I don't want to go into details until it is finalized but I am really looking forward to it.  It has also made me very homesick for the home I can no longer call home. 

5.) I virtually walked with my friends in Ile a la Crosse during the Relay for Life.  My amazing friend Judy used Facetime on her Ipad while using her Iphone as a wireless hotspot so I could walk a lap with my former family.  Needless to say I cried the entire time and spent the night cursing the Northwest Company and the Northern Store for my heartache. 

 

Walking the lap.

 

My amazing friends lit a luminary for Uncle Jim.

 

My Metis Mama.

6.) After dusting myself off and trying again, I found a new job closer to where I live in a daycare that I love.  I have been there for almost a week and I can easily see myself there for the next few years.

7.) After much internal debate, I booked a plane ticket for myself to go to the Yukon next June.  My amazing friends Kara, Kennie, Jenn, Sarah and I are meeting in the Yukon next year for a week of girls fun.  We initially talked about this in honour of the amazing Indigo Sweetwater who was taken from us last year by that evil known as cancer.  She was a jewel of a person who was an amazing inspiration to us all and made the 5 of us realize that you have to live for today.  We have never met (well with the exception of Jenn and I who met for the first time this July when we were driving back here) and I am soo excited.  Never in my life would have I have imagined I would be doing anything like this. 

 

The amazing and beautiful Jenn.  We were only together less than 2 hours but we have known each other for years.