November 2, 2007......

.... was by far the darkest day in my life. It started the day before when I got a call from my sister saying that my dad was dying in the hospital and we had to get there.. NOW. I'll never forget that call. I was on the phone with her on and off all that morning but that call at lunch time I will never forget. We had been living in Behchoko for 6 months at the time. Through the amazing support of the Northwest Company and a fantastic woman at Royal Bank Visa, we were able to leave pretty much immediately and arrived in Halifax by 7am the next morning. I'm just glad we were all there. It is no surprise to anyone who knows me in real life that I have always been the strong one in my family. Everyone has relied on me for as long as I can remember to be the one who holds it all together. I think that is why my marriage works so well, because with Rob I know I don't always have to be the strong one. Today for the most part has been a day of reflection for me. I'm at the point that the memories I have of my dad are the good ones. Dad and I were always very close, and it's no secret that I miss him like crazy and it super sucks that he's not here. It is not for anyone to understand why, you'll drive yourself crazy trying to answer that. For people who say it gets easier with time, they're liars or they've never lost anyone close to them. It never gets easier, you just learn to continue living without them in your life. I make sure to talk about Dad with the boys all the time, and I have a large family collage in my kitchen that has many pictures of him in it. Joey and I were looking at pictures just last night, and I'm proud to say Joe still knows who he is, even if it is just in pictures. Today sucks, but it's over and tomorrow is another day. Luckily for me the anniversay of Dad's death is overshadowed by the celebration of Colby's birthday, and I'll always make sure that it will stay that way.