Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone.
If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. One particular game, however,several months ago made the St. John's audience drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing they've ever heard yet. Read this and find out why. Anyway, here's how it all went down:
DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on 94.7 OZ -FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (l aughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."
[ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ]
DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?"
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Ed with 94.7 OZ-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "All right. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
DJ: "Come on, Sarah.....where did you have it?
Sarah: "Up the arse....."
After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break."
And the drivers of NFLD almost crashed their cars laughing! P.S. : The contestants won the trip!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Me: (trying to keep calm while wondering where this is coming from) "Really, what does it mean?"
Colby: "It means when one guy has the "s" word with another guy".
By this time I felt like the entire world had come to a screaming halt. All I could think was ' who the hell told my son about the 's' word?? but of course I replied"It doesn't always mean sex Colby, it just means that one guy likes another guy, or one girl likes another girl"
Colby: "No mom, gay is just for guys. There is a different word for girls. "
Oh.My.God. Why does my 7 year old know this? I didn't want to go into a big conversation with him as my friend was here at the time, but I'm going to, but I just didn't think I'd be doing it this soon!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
"Look! I won a DS I!" (The DS I is the newest DS. It has a camera function, similar to a cell phone. I have been hearing the little click of the camera since yesterday, and this is NOT what you want to hear first thing in the morning before coffee. TRUST ME. THAT MISTAKE ONLY HAPPENS ONCE. hehe)
His school sent home a notice at the beginning of last week announcing a photography contest they were running for their website. They were looking for pictures and biographies from around town, so of course I sent in a bunch of our pictures. The notice said that every usable entry would receive a small prize and their name would be submitted into a draw for larger prizes which included the DS, a scooter, a digital camera and a few other things. I keep teasing him that since *I* entered the contest, the DS should be mine. So, as the title implies, Rob won the PS3, Colby won the newest DS, when is it MY TURN!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Friday, May 01, 2009