Thursday, August 04, 2011

A letter to my younger self

Dear 13 year old me,

A friend of mine inspired me to write this to you, and I have been thinking long and hard on what to say. The biggest thing i want to tell you is that although you will make some serious mistakes in the next few years of your life, you turn out fine.

I want you to do something for me right now. Stop listening to people when they tell you that in order to succeed in life you need to be thin. There are people in your life right now that have a bad habit of comparing you to others. Even though you are not as tall as some people, you are not as thin as some people, you ARE just as pretty. Stop listening to them. Right now. This harmful information will soon put you in a very dangerous downhill spiral, and because of this you are going to stop eating. Your weight is going to drop to 78lbs which is dangerously low on your 5'1 frame. Your parents are going to try everything, including threatening to hospitalize you. Now, I am not saying it is solely because of this comparison, because lets face it that comparison started years and years before now and you are really good at ignoring it. If she is not there yet, you will have an aunt come to live with you for a while who will also unbeknownst to her also add pressure about you losing weight. She will honestly think she is helping you by encouraging you to exercise regularly with you, but you are so eager to please that you will take this to an extreme. Stop obsesing about your weight. Trust me you are on the verge of your final growth spurt and these 3 inches in height are going to make a huge difference. In 2 years you will be heading into high school, and boy does your life change for the better. You develop this amazing self confidence that truly makes you beautiful. People, and yes when I say people I mean guys, really start to notice you. You obsess about one guy per year of high school, and follow him around like a silly puppy. In grade 11 it is a guy named Joey, which is really funny because you will end up naming one of your boys Joey for a totally different reason. You will be completly madly in love with this guy, even doing something silly as makinng a Joey box, but I wont ruin the surprise by telling you what is in it. You will also get involved with a few not so nice guys, one in particular that will turn your world upside down and inside out before you find your way again. Just remember younger self, your friends and parents are only trying to protect you. Thry can see what you can't. The relationship that you are searching for, you will find. Believe me when I say that it will seem like in the beginning his mother hates you, she really doesn't. I now believe that she was able to see, even back then, that her son and I were meant to be together and she knew that I would eventually take him away. You will also become quite the traveller. Don't believe me? At your point in life I wouldn't either. Let me just tell you that you will spend many nights staring up at the Northern Lights on the frozen tundra of NWT, and you will be able to say you have been in every province with the exception of 3. Hopefully by the the time you reach MY age, you will have suceeded in making it to those final few provinces. You will grow confident, independant and will build an amazing life for yourself with your family.

You will also go through some horrible, horrible times where it feels like the world just isn't fair. You will watch a loved one get sick, but at the time you won't realize that they are fatally sick. No, I won't tell you who it is, because that's not fair. But I will tell you this. Stop sweating the small stuff and spend as much time as you can with your loved ones. You never know when they will be gone. You will leave one day, assuming that they will be there when you get back, but they're not. It will leave a hole in your heart that never truly heals.

But enough about the sad stuff. You know that love of taking pictures that you are just starting to have? Don't lose that. Trust me, you will find one day that people will want you to photograph them, and will pay very good money for them to do so. You'll also drive over frozen lakes, develop a LOVE of the outdoors and have a new appreciation for wild meat. You will learn what it feels like first hand to be the victim of racism, and for people to judge you soley on the color of your skin. And you know what? It makes you a better person for it. You will LOVE to drive a quad, and will quickly become the girl who trades in a car for a full size Ford truck. And you'll LOVE it.

In closing, what I want you to take away from this letter is learn to love yourself for who you are, and accept what you look like. The true man of your dreams, the one you fantasize about when you think about that dream wedding in Newfoundland (spoiler -- IT HAPPENS!) will love you for who you are, both inside and out. I wish I could visit you back there, just to take a peek at the life that I nearly forgot about, until I started writing this. Hug yourself, and then go hug your dad. Give him one for me too.

Thanks Jody for this idea. It was very therapeutic. I encourage everyone to do this. You'll be amazed what comes out when you start typing.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

You made me cry...Kass

Matt, Kara, Hunter and Cavan said...

I am tearing up too!!

Such an awesome letter, Tina.

Rob, Tina and the boys said...

Yeah i shed a few tears writing it.

valentina said...

wow, beautiful <3

Jody said...

I'm so pleased you could take something from my post and turn it into something special of your own! Love both you and younger you, always have ;) xx

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Aamer Waqas Chaudhary said...

Wonderful thought process.

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