Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Maybe I'm just paranoid

I'm honestly looking for a bit of reassurance from all you parent / caregivers. I'm starting to get concerned about Joey. He still doesn't talk yet. He has his own "Joey language", which has been babbling for a while now. But the english translation still has not come through. He has certain words, like "Hi", "Dad", "Mom" and ta-ta. But he points and whines to get what he wants. He is also becoming very violent. When he doesn't get what he wants, he will sometimes bang his head on the floor or a wall in a temper tantrum. I can't help but compare him to Colby. At this age Colby was talking in full sentences. He certainly understands everything we say to him, but just doesn't talk back yet. Someone recently compared him to a child with a certain medical condition, and now I'm just super paranoid. Someone tell me I'm not crazy and other kids have taken this long to talk.

23 comments:

Aida said...

i dont know how old is Joey but Ava is 17 months and still dont talk much, she has maybe a few words. she figured out a way to get stuff without talking aka taking our hands and then talk to us in "Ava-nese" i call it to get what she wants. She too bangs her head on the floor and roll over all around the floor when it comes to tantrum.

i dont know if its normal but most moms in my 17-18th month old birth club, there is only 1 of the kids out of 20 of us who is really speaking and he is considered advanced.

Rob, Tina and the boys said...

Joey will be 2 on May 11.

Matt, Kara and Hunter said...

I know that when I was a kid, my younger brother (2 years younger) talked a lot later. I am pretty sure it was since I was such a talkative kid, the poor bugger could just never a word in!

Kennie said...

Tina, although not a parent ... I can give the "teachers" angle ....

If I remember right, (and this is thinking back to my university days of taking child development classes) by the time children are 18 months, they only have a vocabulary of about 5-20 words (mom, dad, milk, dog, cat...) ... the magic doesn't really start to happen until they hit 24 months (by then they should be around 150 ish words). Although, even at that, it is still basic "sentences" (cookie me, dog bark....). But even at this, not every child "develops" according to these "milestones".

Is Joey able to understand and follow basic directions? (clean up the toys, drink your milk, eat your cereal ...).

I would say if you are concerned (especially with the tantrums, and to get rid of some of that paranoia), I would just get Joey into a pediatrician just too see what they say).

Rob, Tina and the boys said...

Joey is definately able to follow basic instructions "Supper is ready", "time for bed", "do you want a drink" but just doesn't talk back, yet. I'm sure there will be a day when I look at him and say "I wish you would go back to babbling!"

Jason Plett said...

All these children are different. I am a parent of two of the little rascals, and I can say both talked, potty trained, etc at different times. I am a big fan of tough love. If my daughter knows how to ask for something and is lazy and does not use complete sentences, we spend a lot of time deciding who is the most stubborn. I am a little different than many though I can tolerate screeming and crying for hours on end. ;)

Valentina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Valentina said...

Tina, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Each kid is different and will develop speech at his own pace. For ex. one of my friend's son who is the same age as Joey, started saying a few words when he was 11 months, quickly developed his vocabulary and now speaks like an adult, but another friend's son, who is again the same age,as of today, he only says Mama and Dada. Don't worry about it, one day he'll start talking like crazy and you will wonder if he had learned all those words overnight!! :)
BTW, we would absolutely LOVE to attend Joey's birthday party!!! I have already written down the date on my calendar! When the time comes, I will give you Mike's parents phone number so that we can arrange all the details. Can't wait to meet you all!!!

jen said...

Ok I'm not a parent but I am a second Child expert lol.

I know almost every second child talks later then the first just because the old sibling "talks" for them. Nathan and I both went a long time without talking because we both had an older child "talking" for us. Second children are a more laid back breed, we tend to let others do the work for us. I wouldn't worry. He sounds like a totally normal kid to me.

jods said...

Tina, what Valentina says is right - Also, Sandra didn't talk until she was three. Joey will talk when he feels like he has something to say. I bet he will potty train and do other things that chilren his age, can't do. They all pick up certain things faster than others. Don't worry about him!

Mom says he'll probably be the smartest kid in his class.

jeannine said...

Hi there;
Jason did not say one word (not one word!)until he was 2. Well, when he was 18 months he saw his father coming home from work one day and said Daddy --- and then nothing at all until he was 2 ( give or take a few days only on either side of that, probably on the later side) --- and then he said everything in sentences. He never even said mommy until then.
Adam did small steps and did not really talk until he was 2 either - I think because Jason and I said every thing for him.
So I think it is way too early to start worrying about this. If he gets to be 2 and a half and still does not talk well - than that is time to look into the matter.
My opinion for what it's worth.
Love, Gramma Jeannine

Trudie said...

My niece did all the talking for her brother (4 years younger)until he was well over the age of two. That's when he decided that she couldn't interpret his wants and needs appropriately any longer and began talking himself in more than two-word sentences.
Give it another half year, and encourage your older son NOT to talk for his brother - even if that might be hard at times.

KaranS said...

Tina,

I had a similar experience. My first hit all of the milestones exactly as set out in all of the books. My second, however, refused to crawl to get toys, would not eat solid foods and didn't make any attempt to stand up or walk until she was nearly 18 months old. My doubts were exacerbated by my dayhome operator, who reminded me daily of this "lack of progress" and was unrestrained in sharing her views.

The best advice I can give you is to go to your doctor and if possible, get a referral to a pediatrician. By the time I went in to my doctor, I was not sleeping and crying daily, especially on the way home after picking up the kids at the day home. My doctor referred me to both a pediatrician and an occupational therapist. She told me up front that she felt there was nothing wrong, but that for my own peace of mind, I needed to have developmental problems and conditions ruled out.

It turned out that everything was fine; but I had to hear that from an expert. I strongly believe that if there had been a problem, finding out would have better than having to wonder everyday. So, please go to your doctor. You need to do it for yourself.

Trudie said...

Like karans above here, I also had to hear something from an 'expert' before I would settle down. At about 3 years of age, my son suddenly went off food. He would pick at everything, including his absolute favorites, and I was frantic. I tried every trick in the book but nothing helped, he just didn't eat what I felt he needed in order to grow properly. I finally took him to my pediatrician who examined him every which way while he was talking up a storm with the kid. Afterwards he sent my son out to the playroom and then told me to stop worrying, go home and just enjoy my son! He was indeed a bit on the skinny side, but followed the developmental charts to a tee. The parting words of the doctor was 'No child will starve if there is adequate food in the house - just don't make such a fuss over it.'
I went home and I quit my worrying, bribing and other nonsense. About two months later, he suddenly started eating almost the same size porions as I did....
By the way Tina, can I reach you via mail?

Rob said...

No to be-little the situation as I am equally concerned as Tina, however, after thinking about it and reading everyone's comments, thanks by the way, I have come to my own conclusions. I think he is just plain stubborn, just like his er, umm...MOM!

Rob, Tina and the boys said...

trudie - you can reach me at robtinaschwartz at hotmail dot com.

Anonymous said...

Rob is a brave man when he out of town!

Molly said...

Yup. My husband's little brother didn't say a word until he was three, at which time he put a pillowcase over his shoulders, climbed up on a chair, said, "Look Mom, I'm Superman!" and jumped. Coincidentally his older brother and sister were both in school at that point and could no longer speak for him.
Not being able to communicate is frustrating of course, and that could explain the tantrums.
Still, have him evaluated, if only so you can stop worrying. If he's just not physically ready to talk, you can teach him to sign and at least then he will be able to communicate his needs.

OHN said...

My oldest always did the talking for his little brother. (they are 17 months apart). The oldest was freakishly fast and good at everything and the second one freaked me out by doing nothing but grunting and whacking me on the thigh with his rock hard head. One day he just decided that he wanted to speak for himself-without his brothers input and off he went and he hasnt shut up since. :)

Rob, Tina and the boys said...

OMG Chris that could be my kids!

Anonymous said...

A wise man once said "You spend the first two years trying to get them to walk and talk, you spend the next 20 trying to get them to sit down and shut up."

CL

Rob, Tina and the boys said...

Well put CL.

Demeter said...

Tina, I would not worry about it. Boys speak later in their developmental years. What is important is that they have heard everything and understand what you are telling them. They process everything internally and one day, he will surprise you with full sentences and you will be floored! He just has to make sense of it in his mind. Yael also bangs her head against walls, and thinks it is funny. She also rolls on the floor crying, don't know where she got it from, but I guess, it is a way of her letting me know of her frustration her own baby way. Joe looks adorable. He is fine!